


The Epic of the Anzu Coffee Shop

by fresne



Category: The Epic of Gilgamesh
Genre: A Bit Ridiculous, Chromatic Yuletide, M/M, Together They Fight Crime, Yuletide 2020, Yuletide Treat, and make coffee
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:00:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28219614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fresne/pseuds/fresne
Summary: It's a complaint that is heard up and down the Sakanaka strip mall. Well, the back of the strip. Where the customers don't go. Between the back doors of the shops and the row of half dead cedar trees over the cracked and busted wall that separates Sakanaka from the apartment complex of the Chaldees on the other side. Gilgamesh is a dick. Gilgamesh is a douche nozzle. Gilgamesh is an asshole. A bad boss. Only interested in hookups.That is until Enkidu punches him, because yeah that happens. After that, well, it's epic.
Relationships: Enkidu/Gilgamesh (Mesopotamian Mythology), Enkidu/Humbaba
Comments: 19
Kudos: 21
Collections: Yuletide 2020





	1. Table 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [moemachina](https://archiveofourown.org/users/moemachina/gifts).



> You asked for coffee shop AU and got... well, I hope you enjoy it.

It's a complaint that is heard up and down the Sakanaka strip mall. Well, the back of the strip. Where the customers don't go. Between the back doors of the shops and the row of half dead cedar trees over the cracked and busted wall that separates Sakanaka from the apartment complex of the Chaldees on the other side. 

On the width of cracked asphalt in between, a barista sits wearily on an empty sun battered milk crate. Listens to the sounds of people splashing in the apartment pool on the far side of the crumbling wall. People having fun. The smell of chlorine and cedar fill the air. It's the first time he's been able to sit in hours. He says, "Gilgamesh is such a fucking asshole!" 

A clerk who works at a dress shop in the Sakanaka chews on her gum, she's trying to quit smoking, and sighs her agreement. "Gilgamesh is a total douche nozzle!" 

Eager to get out his complaint now that he knows he has an audience, the barista says in a rush. "He expects us to be there at all hours, and he never gives any explanations. It's like he thinks we're psychic, and the least little thing; boom, he's screaming that we can't even make a fucking cup of coffee, and don't get me started about the expresso machine. I think he's in love with it." 

Eager to get her complaint heard now that she knows she has an audience, the clerk says, "I knew he was a dick, but I couldn't resist that smile. Those abs. His dick. For a few weeks, it was all sex and fire, then bam cold shoulder. He doesn't answer texts. Doesn't call. Already moved on like I'm nothing. I think he's fucking Cindy Lu from the rotisserie across the street."

They talk over each other in a flooding burst until they each realize the other one is speaking and they don't have an audience at all. They fall into sheepish silence.

That's not the only time. Oh, no. This sort of thing happens all the time out behind the Sakanaka. Baristas slink away there to tell tales of weary horror at the grinder. The French press. Sometimes a barista mimes Gilgamesh rage slamming down a cup of espresso with a bitter splash. They go there because the Anzu coffee shop is apart from the strip. Older. Gilgamesh never comes back there. 

Except for the times he does make the journey. The better to pull a doe eyed clerk or cedar limbed bagger from Food Love grocery, which anchors the mall. He pulls a handsome man or lovely woman out under the trees for kisses. To lead to getting up to a few other things after hours. Then restlessly moves on. And yes, one young woman broke off her engagement. And yes, one young man came out to his family a bit before he was ready. All for a relationship that never was.


	2. Table 2

Now to back up slightly, the Anzu Coffee shop had been there for a good long while. Before the strip mall. Before the apartment complex. When old route 360 wound its way through the heart of Uruk. That coffee shop was built by Gilgamesh's pappy after a war with money from a GI loan. That coffee shop paid for a home for a family with three children. That coffee shop made a community out of the scattered apartment complexes and single family homes that grew up around it. 

The inside is warm and comfortable. Gilgamesh updated the decor after watching a lot of home improvement shows a few years back. Jewel colors and soft fabrics. Solid wood furnishings. Some hanging plants spilling with flowers. The strong smell of coffee and cake. Sandwiches too. Egg wrap things made with egg whites, feta, and spinach in a microwave. There's not much of a kitchen. The baking happens elsewhere. But the place is always full of commuters on their way to work. People from the homes all around them. Students from the community college too young for a bar. 

Though, speaking of bars, just outside of city bounds there's the Ziggurat dance club. They aren't in a municipality. They don't check IDs in a strong light, and make sure to make donations to the County Sheriff's Holiday fund. 

Gilgamesh and Ishtar cross paths there time to time. They don't go together. They are not together, but they see each other there. They hunt separately and for slightly different willing and eager prey. To be blunt, Gilgamesh is more careful to ensure that his partners are old enough to drink. 

But then, Ishtar has part ownership of the Ziggurat under the table. 

What Ishtar owns over the table is the Food Love grocery store at the end of the Sakanaka. That's a lot to own for a woman just one score and ten plus, though she'll only admit to one score and nine.

To be blunt, Ishtar is a queen of a lady from a family with money. 

Her father, Suen, ran the only set of mortuaries in town until he decided he'd run for mayor. He won his race, and all the races that came after. While his son, Utu, is a state Assistant District Attorney, and everyone says that his daddy's money will help him go higher someday, take that assistant off his title, run for office. He's got ambitions bright as the sun.

When Suen became mayor, and with some reluctance, he handed over the administration of the family business to his oldest girl, Ereshkigal. Reluctance because in the flower of her youth she'd gotten mixed up with a bad dragon-man named Kur, and it cost Suen a pretty penny, and the threat of statutory rape charges, to make Kur go away. No matter how Ereshkigal flattened her hair, or wore severe pantsuits, or put on sensible shoes, or added on years, Suen thought she was bound to go wrong again.. 

While Ishtar, well, her daddy lent her the money to start Food Love with a smile and a chuck under her chin. Lent her money for this and that idea, and wasn't she clever with her Ziggurat deal. Ishtar who let her hair curl wild as it grew. Ishtar who went out dancing and wildcatting at Ziggurat. Ishtar who brought the boys she caught back to the little bungalow that Suen bought her, because a young woman should have a place to call her own. Ishtar who hired grocery clerks and bagging boys for the sharpness of their cheekbones and the strong length of their legs.

While Ereshkigal suffers through Suen setting her up with Guglanana, the town sheriff, or as everyone called him Bull Gug on account of the thickness of his neck and the bullishness of his ambitions. Ereshkigal who lived alone in the townhouse with the cat that she paid for and cared for herself. Who as romance went felt like she had more in common with that so called Doctor from her virtual book club, but told herself that DrDisease was probably really a Russian hacker catfishing her. Who told herself to be satisfied with what she had.

To say that there is some family resentment would be an understatement. 

Course, it is the talk of that town that between the sisters they had a lock on life and death. 

Because Food Love carries certain herbal remedies that are better than any viagra. For men and women, because Ishtar loves the idea of love. Because Food Love gives out free condoms no questions asked. Supplies them to Ziggurat too, truth be told. A better draw than cheap beer. Sells herbal tea that promises regular monthlies, and that's code for birth control, and always has been since long before the town of Uruk. 

Because there wasn't a funeral in Uruk that wasn't carried out with dignity and discretion through Irkalla Full Service Mortuary. Because Ereshkigal laid everybody out and into the ground, and was kind to every mourning soul.

This will all become relevant later. 


	3. Table 3

But back to the weary baristas and the heart sore clerks. What none of them know is on the far side of the wall, sitting in the spiny shade of a dead cedar tree, is old Aruru. This is how Aruru thinks of herself. Old as dirt. Older. She doesn't live in the apartment complex. She lives in the old farmhouse that's wedged in at the end of the complex between the Sakanaka and the apartment complex of the Chaldee. 

The farmland on which they both sit once belonged to her pappy. For that matter the Kulaba apartments across the wide busy road. The Sakanaka West strip mall with its aging gas station. All of the land was sold piece by piece and long ago for development. Sold because the city was growing up all around their farm and with so many jobs coming into Uruk after the war. Aruru's older than dirt so don't ask which war.

Every morning, Aruru walks out into her large garden, her pappy didn't sell all the land, and it's a beautiful place full of roses climbing trellises and monstrous lavender piles at war with the rosemary, and among them fat happy bees. She can't do all the gardening herself. See also older than dirt. She has a gardener. We'll get back to that later.

She spends a moment breathing in the air, and because that's a lonely thing, she walks around the corner and the crumbling wall and makes her way to the Anzu coffee shop off by itself in the parking lot. Surrounded by a wide circle of grass with places to sit beneath the old magnolia tree that Gilgamesh's mother, Ninsun, had promised Aruru would never be cut down. 

Aruru has seen Gilgamesh grow up in that shop.

The bell jingle jangles as she goes inside the door and inhales the rich smell of coffee and pastries like she is praying. Gilgamesh, who is always a sweet boy for her, smiles at her and calls out as he always does, "Your usual, Mrs. Aruru?" He knows her last name. Had been a ring bearer at her second wedding. No her third. She's been married a few times, but that's all past now.

She nods regally, "You know it, sweet cheeks." He is always sweet cheeks for her. 

Wild sounds come out of that monstrous gleaming engine of a coffee machine behind the well cleaned bar. Steam. The smell of cream. Gilgamesh shouts off a barista, who is new and doesn't know that Gilgamesh is the one to make Aruru's coffee. None of the baristas last long at the Anzu coffee shop. They are always new.

Gilgamesh is the one to come over with a wide cup of delightful brew with a touch of chicory and cream like she likes. He's the one to bring the largest cinnamon roll sticky with sugar, which she shouldn't ought to have, but does anyway. She's old as dirt and she's got to go sometime. So why not enjoy herself.

Her sweet cheeked Gilgamesh, those cheeks hidden by that dark curling beard of his, always sits down and chats with her. Busy coffee shop. People coming in and out to grab a cup and go. He makes time for her. 

Each day they do the little dance at the end. She puts her purse on the table, and Gilgamesh laughs big and wide with sparkling eyes. "Now you know better than that Mrs. Aruru. My only charge is the pleasure of your company." He picks up her hand and kisses the paper thin skin of her knuckles like he is a swashbuckler in a movie, and she knows that's how he's damaging hearts. 

So she is aware that Gilgamesh can be an asshole and a dick. But he's also her sweet cheeks, and she promised his mama that she'd keep an eye on him.

Funny thing is, Ninsun had made Gilgamesh promise to keep an eye on Mrs. Aruru when she moved away after his papa died so she could be closer to Gilgamesh's sisters and her grandkids. 

The problem isn't that Gilgamesh's heart is hard. Far from it. He burns a little too brightly and hot. Where he loves, he loves well, and he always listens to his mama. But he gives his flesh a good deal easier than his heart.

He's restless. In his youth, he'd left town and wandered the world. Still goes on his wanderings when Ninsun or one of his sisters can be pressed to come watch the Anzu. But when someone had to come back, be a pillar in the community of Uruk, he returned. 

So he drives everyone who works for him a bit crazy. So his eye wanders always to the next pretty woman or man. But he holds himself to the same standard as anyone else. But he never promises anyone anything other than a good time. Never invites anyone home. Never introduces anyone to his mama. 

But he'd been the one to pay for a plumber to come to the apartments of the Chaldee when the sewer went out and everyone was in a bad way. He was the one to go to the Chamber of Commerce to push for higher minimum wages. He was the one to go to the city council meetings to call for a crossing walk or a fixed pothole when such needed to be done. 

There were some that said he should run for mayor. If he could settle down. That he would give old Suen a run for his death money. 


	4. Table 4

So Aruru is thinking about what fierce hearted boy Gilgamesh is. About what he needs to settle his wild heart. Sitting in her garden when her gardener comes to prune. Now on that fateful day, he brings a friend of his who's just come back to Uruk. 

Aruru recognizes Enkidu. Not because of his pictures in the papers and the t.v. Although, there had been a bit of that. No, she recognizes him from her days volunteering with foster children. She recognizes all her children. Oh, Enkidu's filled out. Gotten taller. More muscle. More experience in those eyes. Gotten tattoos and a good deal of hair all over. But she knows him.

He's the same thoughtful boy. His hands holding the secateur are gentle as he snips dead heads. Firm as he brushes away aphids. A kind young man who sits down next to her for a bit watching the bees after the job is done.

So maybe she invites Enkidu and her gardener to come sit with her by the swimming pool of the Chaldee, because of course she has a key. 

So there is Enkidu, who had gotten up to a thing or three out in the forests and meadows, and he hears a barista roll out the litany of complaints through the chinks in the wall. Hears a young woman cry, and it just makes him see red. 

Here's the thing. Enkidu knows who Gilgamesh is. There isn't anyone in Uruk who doesn't know Gilgamesh. Golden boy. High school quarterback. Led his team at State to victory all four years. One of the few people in town who'd actually left Uruk to go places. Climbed mountains. Big ones. Crossed more than one ocean. Had his picture in magazines dedicated to the sort of far away most never see. Came home to take over the family cafe. 

Time was Enkidu had looked at Gilgamesh's picture in the local paper and thought to himself that maybe he wanted something other than a girlfriend. 

Time was Enkidu went to live as a wildman in the woods with a commune of like minded folks. People named Gazelle or Toro or Leo. Enkidu was aggressive in his support of nature. He got high. He got low. Something happened. He did some time in a small place far away from nature, and wanted nothing more of that life. 

Except he thinks of himself as a hypocrite to his own heart. Where once he only ate grass and other veg, now he eats beef. Where once he ran in the woods, now he mows lawns for pity dollars from a fellow foster made good. 

So it's a shock to hear this view of Gilgamesh. A shock to the system that Gilgamesh is a hypocrite too. Enkidu thinks that they are alike. But there's also a little pride, because Enkidu is stronger than Gilgamesh. Has more character. Enkidu gets up and stomps over to that coffee shop intent on giving Gilgamesh a piece of his mind. A piece of his rage.

He walks over and as fate would have it, Gilgamesh is not inside the shop. He's out under the magnolia tree telling a young woman that it's him and not her, and he never said forever, and he didn't know that girl was her best friend. Enkidu doesn't stop to say a word. He punches Gilgamesh on his firm and handsome chin. The young woman screams and darts into the shop. Gilgamesh takes that punch, shakes his head, and punches back. Soon they are rolling and grappling in the grass under the wide old magnolia tree. 

Enkidu is strong, but Gilgamesh has a foot of height on him and gets up to a lot more than just managing a coffee shop. Gilgamesh pins Enkidu down. He finally gets some words in and says, "Is she your sister?" Then looking at the gorgeous, furious brown eyes glaring up at him, the long blue-black hair spilled out on the battered magnolia petals, that handsome face that is double expresso and ready to spit in his eyes, Gilgamesh adds, "Please don't tell me that's your girlfriend." Gilgamesh means it. For the first time in his wandering life, he cares what the answer is.

Because in that moment, he recognizes Enkidu. This boy is famous. Eco-warrior. Sometimes called eco-terrorist. Until all of that stopped with some time in the Big House with wire fences. Now he's back. Gilgamesh had followed the story. Stared at the pictures of this distilled embodiment of planetary rage. Fuck, he's had hot wierd dreams about Enkidu. More than once. 

Enkidu struggles another moment, which does nothing to stop Gilgamesh's interest. "No. Neither." Adds, "You're an asshole."

Gilgamesh laughs, rolling somewhat reluctantly off Enkidu, because they'd just met. "Yeah." He offers his hand to Enkidu to help him up. "Want a cup of coffee?"

"I just punched you and called you an asshole." But Enkidu takes his hand and gets to his feet. Gilgamesh takes in the scuffed work boots. The dusty jeans. The faded t-shirt declaiming the glories of funk and jazz. 

He doesn't let go of Enkidu's hand. Instead he strokes the back of a hand with a helpless to stop thumb.

Enkidu doesn't pull away. He just glares like a hurricane that Gilgamesh to be knocked over by.

"Yeah, you're right. I am an asshole. So the punch is no big. Coffee?" Gilgamesh wrinkles his nose. "On the house."

"If you apologize to that woman," says Enkidu firmly. "You should be more careful with hearts." He squeezes his hand in warning, but he doesn't let go. He really couldn't if he wanted to and he does not want to.

Gilgamesh sighs, because his reputation would precede him when it really matters.

Enkidu holds Gilgamesh's gaze, and ignores the pounding of his heart. This is the first time Enkidu has spoken with Gilgamesh and heard his deep forest bass. This is the first time he's looked at him in the golden eagle eyes. Is fairly aware that he's been under his firm flesh a moment before, which brought up thoughts. None of which has anything to do with making things right. That makes his voice rougher than it might have been. "Or do you want to go again."

Gilgamesh is torn a bit, but shakes his head no. Reluctantly lets go of Enkidu's hand. Goes into the shop, the bell jingle jangles its joy at their entrance. The coming of the king and his consort. Somewhat compounded by the pounding of Gilgamesh's heart. He stops Cindy Lu, who is telling everyone that Gilgamesh is getting killed like he deserves, apologizes for having sex with her former best-friend, gives her a cinamon roll for her pain, and turns to Enkidu, who he wants to make his cinamon roll, and says, "Coffee? On the house."

Gilgames glares off Jones' who'd claimed to know how to make a latte, but could barely work the steamer, and got a low voiced, "And you could treat your employees better. They can't learn if you don't show them," from Enkidu. Gilgamesh decides to make the best cup of coffee that this glorious known stranger has ever had. Kaffa Ethiopian Heritage blend. Roasted himself that morning. Puts the gleaming coils of the machine to work. Steam emits just before pouring the rich dark liquid into a brilliant white cup. He slides it across the lacquered hardwood counter to Enkidu to see how he'll take it. 

Black. No sugar. No cream. Just a small sip and a long sigh. "That is a damn fine cup of coffee."

"Coffee cake? After all, you've gotten your exercise today." Gilgamesh rubs his jaw in an exaggerated, if not entirely without reason, way.

Enkidu glares all fury and pounding heart. "You deserved it." 

"That doesn't answer the question." Gilgamesh leans across the counter. "I baked it myself." Because his mama had given him the recipe after making him swear he'd never share it with one of his light loves. 

He smiles white teeth in a black beard and Enkidu takes a plate of coffee cake with a small bowl of honey butter on the side. Enkidu drinks the coffee that tastes like gardens in some far away desert land and bitter dark mountain forests all at the same time. He eats the coffee cake that tastes like lazy molasses mornings with a lover. Enkidu put his fork down with a clank. He says, "I don't fuck around." It's not quite true. He has fucked around. He has been fucked over. He's done with that.

"Good for you," says Gilgamesh. He takes Enkidu's empty cup and refills it with some Sumatran as a next course. He chats with him over this and that. His hand longs to be filled with Enkidu's, but there is a coffee shop to run between streams of conversation.

Enkidu finds himself admitting he is sleeping on an air mattress in his friend's living room since he'd come back to town. Feels all the blood flood his face when Gilgamesh says, "Now that's not right. You should move in with me. I've got plenty of room in my house."

"Uh," says Enkidu and then, "Err," and then, "I punched you not an hour ago." 

"I deserved it," says Gilgamesh. "Move in with me. I'll put you up in my little sister's old room. Your own room. Access to a kitchen." Gilgamesh smiles wider. "I cook a mean stew and I've got a grill out back. 

"Uh," says Enkidu and then, "Err," and repeats, "I do not fuck around." And then added, "I've heard your reputation. I punched you because of your reputation. Also, I've done time." 

"And you're out and need a place to stay. And I don't invite my light-o-loves back to my childhood home for a casual fuck," his tongue and his lips made love to that last word to it ends as a sigh. The moment hangs between them, until Gilgamesh clears his throat. "And certainly not in my little sister's room." He makes a disgusted face that has Enkidu laughing. Hard and uncomfortable and laughing. Then he glances down at the counter and admits what's on his mind. "What I'm thinking is this won't be casual."

Giglamesh reaches over and squeezes Enkidu's hand. He can't speak his agreement. It's choked up in his throat, which he clears again. "For now let's get you off an air mattress."

So the day ends with Gilgamesh swinging by the apartment complex where Enkidu's been crashing. Enkidu comes down with the duffel that holds all he owns in the world. He expects Gilgamesh to say something about the duffel but he doesn't. 

Instead, Gilgamesh spends the whole drive across town talking about how he's cleared out his sister's old room and made the bed with flannel sheets, but if Enkidu prefers cotton, he should let Gilgamesh know. How he's marinating steaks and making zucchini fritters for dinner, but if Enkidu would prefer something else, he should let Gilgamesh know. How he's got some dough he needs to make for tomorrow's bake for the coffee shop, but if Enkidu wants to watch something on the t.v. he can. How since Enkidu doesn't have a car, and Gilgamesh noticed that Enkidu had a Triumph motorcycle patch on his jacket, that if he wanted he could ride Gilgamesh's Brough Superior SS 100 to get around. If he wanted.

He is talking a mile a minute. Enkidu thinks, "He's nervous." Enkidu thinks, "That's fair, I'm nervous too." He thinks, "What am I doing?" 

Gilgamesh knows that he was talking too much, but he can't stop. He is as nervous as whore in church as his Uncle Kubala liked to say. He tells himself, "Shut up." But words kept pouring out of his mouth. Soon enough they pull up in front of his house. His childhood home. He bought it from his mama when she decided to move. Like all the houses on the east side of town, it is a good sized house. Two stories with a porch in the back and front. A decent view of the blue green mountains rising up over the river valley from the backyard. Gilgamesh turns off the car and says, "Well, here we are." He could have punched himself. 

Enkidu says, "Yeah." His voice cracks at the end. He coughs. 

"Let me show you your room." Gilgamesh doesn't just show Enkidu the room where he'd be sleeping. He proudly shows him every room of the house. Words still pouring out. Until finally, when they get to his little sister's old room, Gilgamesh flees claiming it's time to put dinner on, after pointing out the bathroom that he'd just shown Enkidu not three minutes before.

Downstairs, he dithers over whether he should put out some beers or some wine. While upstairs, he can hear the shower turning on. Swallows and thinks about Enkidu naked in his house. He puts on his favorite jazz stream. He puts out beer and opens some wine, and fills a pitcher of water just in case. He puts the steaks on the grill and makes the zucchini fritters, puts out some rolls, because it's not dinner without fresh bread, and dinner is about done when he hears the creak on the stairs. He calls out. "I'm out back." 

All the spit in his mouth dries when Enkidu comes out and stands limned by the last golden light of day. It isn't that Enkidu's wearing anything fancy. T-shirt and jeans. Long straight blue-black hair wet from his shower. His smile is bright and shining. Gilgamesh makes himself drink a swallow of wine rather than starting to babble again.

Enkidu opens a beer because he could hear an ocean roaring in his ears and his heart beating fast for no real reason other than Gilgamesh looks gorgeous. The sunlight makes love to the wide sharp planes of his golden face. Kissing every curling hair on his head and in his beard. Enkidu has to look away because the sight is too bright.

So dinner is quiet at first. Nothing fancy. The kitchen table. The sound of clinking knives on old plates. Chewing. Enkidu has a beer. Gilgamesh has wine, because he'd opened it. As the evening relaxes into itself, they chat about places in Uruk. Places in Ur, one town over. People they both know. High school. The jazz that's playing. Everything's easy. Not awkward at all. Not even when Gilgamesh admits he'd heard about Enkidu's eco-warrior adventures when he left town. Not even when Enkidu admits that there was more to it than that. Not even when Enkidu admits he'd heard about Gilgamesh's adventures mountain climbing and traveling. The journey home. 

Not even when they both reach for the butter, and their hands meet for what seems like a century. It isn't awkward. They turn their hands and for a long time, not speaking, don't let go.

Course, the meal ends. 

Enkidu insists on cleaning up. He feels warm and well fed. Comfortable. Loose. Adrift. But not relaxed. Like a man floating in a blue pool. 

Gilgamesh gets to making the dough for the morning's bake. The room smells like home. Not a home Enkidu has ever lived in, but home. 

When Enkidu is done cleaning, he doesn't leave the room. Just leans against the kitchen bar, drinking his beer. Chatting. When Gilgamesh finishes up, he finds himself adrift by where Enkidu is standing trim and lean. "Well, I ah… I have to get up early so I can get over to the Anzu, but feel free to stay up as late as you want. Watch some t.v. in the living room and you know whatever."

Then really naturally as anything, later neither one could have said who moved first, their lips meet. Soft and searching. Searing. Hands on shoulders. Breathing one mouth into the other. Until Gilgamesh pulls suddenly away. "Fuck. Sorry. You said you don't fuck around and I said," 

"Shhh, it's okay. I know what I said." Enkidu stops Gilgamesh's mouth with a kiss. After another gentle stroke of lips on lips, then it is Enkidu's turn to pull away. He says, "Don't break my heart. Okay. If this is nothing but a fuck, tell me now."

"It's not." Gilgamesh feels the words in his heart. He feels them in his toes. He feels them in the very top of his head, which feels as if it is floating away as they resume kissing. Finally moving towards the stairs. One step, lips on lips. Another. More kisses. Slow progress, but sweet. To the landing. Where they turn and push against each other grappling with shirts and discarding them there. Another slow set of rising steps. Until groaning, they make their way to Gilgamesh's room. To the wide bed for a tall man with the moon shining through the window. Silver on their bodies. Shadows too.

They grapple again, but not like before. Nothing like before. Groaning. The bed is groaning. They are groaning. Gasping. Moving. Hearts pounding. Bodies thrusting. Until the gasp. The release. The cries like hawks on a high mountain. 

Then it's over. But it's not. Gilgamesh does something he's never done. He pulls the sheet over his lover. He wraps his arm over Enkidu's chest to stroke at the thick hair there. He says to the moon, to Enkidu, "I think you're the one who'll break my heart."

"Right," says Enkidu to the moon. To Gilgamesh. He's being sarcastic, but he's sleepy. So it just comes out like a statement. He falls asleep there and the spare bedroom with its clean sheets goes empty and no one is particularly sad about it.


	5. Table 5

Now in the morning, Gilgamesh really does need to get up. He needs to bake. Open up the Anzu to the early morning commuters. See if any of the staff have shown up. But there's a beautiful man in his bed. A beautiful man who has every reason not to trust what's happened is real. So Gilgamesh speaks the love language of his people.

Gilgamesh makes coffee and scones. He leaves notes. He leaves offerings and goes. He's not there for Enkidu's nightmare. Early morning mare. A horse that rides with clattering hooves and dust through Enkidu's sleeping mind and it's a doozy.

Enkidu wakes alone in a strange bed and can't for a moment remember where he is. All he can feel is terror. The memory of Humbaba's death filled face the last time they met. Then he remembers where he is. He's not in his old life. Not even in the in between. He stretches and feels the cold place in the bed, and for a moment his old fears linger. 

Then he sees the note and the thermos of coffee. The cloth napkin hiding the secret of scones. He can't help but smile. 

He tells himself it can't last. Nothing in this life lasts. But he drinks the coffee. He eats the scones. He goes down to the garage where there's a motorcycle with a helmet waiting. There's a note there too, "I meant what I said. Borrow it if you'd like."

He does like. The bike roars powerfully between his thighs and he thinks of Gilgamesh.

But since such thoughts won't pay his way, and he's determined to do just that, Enkidu checks in with his friend, but there's no jobs that day. So he gives in and goes to the coffee shop and glares at Gilgamesh when he's an asshole to his employees. Helps out where he can, which considerably helps Gilgamesh's mood.

While Gilgamesh, he's flying all day. Flying. Because there's Enkidu. Then there's going home with Enkidu, and a bit of a repeat of the whole night before. Except earlier. So they sleep earlier. 

Except that night, Gilgamesh is there for the nightmare. There to jolt awake tethered as he is by his arm around Enkidu. Feels Enkidu wake up in terror. It's night time. The dead of it, so there in the dark he asks the question, "What is it?" Presses a kiss to the back of Enkidu's head. 

It's the darkest hour, so Enkidu answers. "I dreamed I was in the Cedar Forest National Forest. I… ah… I fell in with a bad crowd. Humbaba. I wanted to leave when things got bad. I wanted to save the planet, not hurt people. In a way, doing time was an out. But Humbaba is still out there. They'll never catch him if someone doesn't lead the authorities by the nose. I couldn't, I should have, but..." 

Gilgamesh holds Enkidu tight. He knows who Humbaba is. Less eco-warrior. More full on eco-terrorist. Then there's the stories about how Humbaba funds his activities, because dynamite to blow up tractors isn't free. Pot plantations in the woods and meth labs in caves, and the guns to ensure no one steals any of it. So, yeah, he's heard about bodies in ditches and all that.

But that's nothing to do with life in sleepy Uruk. All that's Enkidu's past. Except it isn't. 

It haunts him. Nightmares don't fade. Because Enkidu knows Humbaba didn't take his leaving well, and as lightly as he's living in the world, he's got something to worry about now. He's got something to lose. So he's twitchy with what he's got. Cautious of PDA. Nervy as a living wire.

So after some weeks, and when Enkidu suggests maybe he should sleep in the spare room, Gilgamesh suggests something drastic. Heart pounding. Knows it's a stupid idea. He asks, "We could go to Great Cedar Forest. Find Humbaba's base of operations. Figure out how to lead the authorities there so they can bring him in."

Enkidu is so startled, he turns in bed to look at Gilgamesh. Course, it's dark so there's nothing to see. "What? No. Humbaba's dangerous."

"Yeah, I get that, but, I get the impression that Humbaba's the sort of dangerous that won't stay in the Cedar Forest and that's why you're worried. Yeah."

Enkidu sighs. "Yeah." 

They nest in the bed for a bit. Like two seeds of rice in a bottom fold of a sack. 

Enkidu kisses where he thinks Gilgamesh's mouth might be and catches a nose. Still, kisses are sweet there in the dark. "We can't just go. This will be dangerous."

This gets Gilgamesh to thinking. He invites an old friend from college over. Utu, who is, as previously mentioned, a state Assistant DA and more than a little ambitious. He is, in a word, excited at the idea of Humbaba being brought in. Interviews. Media coverage. Career builder. It'll open mountain passes of opportunity for Utu. 

But as Enkidu keeps saying, "Humbaba is dangerous. I can find him, but… we're not going to be able to bring him in."

Utu is eager though. He gets a hold of some government satellite radios. Some transponders. "Place one of these in Humbaba's camp, and head back out. We can send in the Forest Service to do the rest."

Enkidu still thinks it's a bad idea, but he knows that his old life still has its claws in him. Won't let go until everything comes clean. Also, he's dreaming each night about Humbaba putting a bomb in the Anzu, and it has him twitchy as all hell. 

The weekend before they go, Gilgamesh says, "First though, um… there's something I want to do. This weekend, I want to take you to um… meet my mama." Another kiss. "I want you to know this is serious to me, yeah."

"Bigger than we fight crime together serious?" 

"My mama and my sisters and half their kids climb all over us kind of serious." 

"Oh," says Enkidu. "Wow." Not much more Enkidu can say.

The weekend comes and they go to meet Ninsun. Enkidu's a bag of nerves the whole drive up the long river valley. Although, Gilgamesh tells him over and over that his mama will love him. Enkidu doesn't believe it. 

Not until they arrive and Giglamesh's mama wraps him in her arms the moment she sees him. She says, "Now from now on, you're to call me Mama Ninsun, and I'll be offended if you don't."

"Yes, Mama Ninsun," says Enkidu meekly. He's mild as milk with her while she tuts over him. Doesn't even know what to say when she unearths some gear for him to go camping with Gilgamesh. 

"Oh, it's nothing. Some old things lying around in my garage. Not even sure why I moved them. Good to have them get some use. Good to have someone going out with this maniac when he's on one of his adventures." She squeezes Gilgamesh's hand. She kisses Enkidu on the forehead like a blessing and it is. He can't help but feel blessed.

Bit of a hypocrite that she doesn't know what they've really got planned. So, it's mixed. But he means it when he tells her that he'll keep an eye on Gilgamesh. 

Then Gilgamesh's sisters show up with their families and it's loud and there are kids everywhere it seems, and no one does anything but accept him in. Enkidu is so happy he doesn't know what to say. So he smiles and doesn't say much. Not even when Gilgamesh holds his hand and leans over to tell him, "I told you they'd like you."

At the end of the visit, Ninsun presses a flare gun in Gilgamesh's hand. She says, "I was going to give it to you for your birthday, but why wait. If you're heading into Cedar Forest, you might need it. He takes it for what it is. A token of love. Along with a tupperware full of baked goods. 

Gilgamesh closes up the cafe. It'll just be for a week, but he's nervous. 

Enkidu and Gilgamesh drive to Cedar Forest in silence. Park the car at the trailhead and head off on the seven mountain peak trail. Soon Enkidu sinks into the familiar. The swinging of feet. The smell of sun warmed soil. The high sweet sound of bird song. Cicadas playing their leg fiddles. 

They are miles away yet from where Humbaba territory is. They can just love. 

Food cooked over the fire even if its beans is good. Sex under the stars isn't half bad either. More like incredible. The Milky Way a splash of light across the sky while Gilgamesh kisses him. The meteors that streak across the heavens while hands explore skin. Everything new and everything familiar. 

Course, now it's Gilgamesh having nightmares. The strange sort of horses that run wild when imaginations run free. Enkidu's the one to hold Gilgamesh through the night while Gilgamesh confesses that sometimes his life makes him feel like he's drowning. The dreams come from the sudden release of the pressure. Out in the mountains, Enkidu can see now why Gilgamesh is such a prick about the Anzu. Something he wants and doesn't want to have to support. Why he's taken risks with hearts in the past. Always searching. So Enkidu interprets dreams until sleep comes back. Until it's time to get hiking again.

One peak. Two peaks. Deeper in. Deeper in. They start the cross country bit. The part where there are no trails. Just two men and wild forest all around them. The middle of no and where. Enkidu looks for the signs in the forest. A rock with a griffin shape and a pointing paw. Twin trees with snake and dragon's flicking arrow tongues carved into the trunk. A tree hollowed out by fire in a certain way. Another snake. A curl of a wave chipped into a creek crossing. Lightning to mark the spot where they should go.

  
  


Course, this is where the whole thing goes cattywampus. 

The plan as Gilgamesh figured it was to find Humbaba's lair. Tag the site for the Feds. Hike out. Enkidu gets some peace. 

Enkidu finds what he's expecting down hill from the lightning carving. How could he not. When he'd been the one to come up with the signs. There, they are. Row on row of cannabis plants. They plant one of Utu's trackers. Look for Humbaba's camp.

They are careful and quiet. But Humbaba gets the drop on them. Tall and broad as ever. AR-15 locked, loaded, and pointing the business end their way. Humaba says, "What are you doing here? 

"Had to come back, I guess," says Enkidu. He's calmer than he might have expected facing his old fuck. His old friend. His nightmare.

Humbaba's smile is not friendly. It's not kind. Deadly. Lion fierce. Mind behind those eyes a gordian knot of snakes twisted up. 

Enkidu is all too familiar with it. Humbaba gives Gilgamesh that look. "So, is this your new fuck. Come to steal what's mine. You always were a thief." Humbaba turns that terrible smile on Gilgamesh. "I'm going to feed your flesh to the vultures. They pick your bones clean here up on my mountain."

Enkidu looks around. It's not that dead in a ditch isn't possible, but there should be more than just Humbaba. "Where's the rest of the crew? If you're going to be eco with my corpse, I should say my goodbyes."

Humbaba sneers. "Pussies. When things got crazy, they split, just like you did. You fishy bitch. Split just because things were getting hot. Getting real." 

Gilgamesh sees Humbaba's only got eyes for Enkidu, which is bad. Which is good. He reaches back and pulls out the flare gun. Fires it up in the sky's general direction. Humbaba flinches. He's not hit by the flare, but he is hit by Gilgamesh's fist. Enkidu gets the AR-15 out of his hands. Soon they've got him disarmed and on the ground. Hands tied behind his back. Which is when Humbaba starts to bargain.

He offers them a cut of the crop. He offers them what he's got up in the cave. He offers them every plant in his plantation. Money. He offers all sorts of things. Enkidu tells Gilgamesh, "You can't trust a word he says. He'll slit your throat as soon as spit on you." 

"Yeah, I figured," says Gilgamesh. "Also, while I don't know that I mind creative farming in the woods, I do mind a gun pointed in my direction. Explosives are right out. But I especially mind threats to my boyfriend."

Which is the first time he's called Enkidu his boyfriend. Enkidu could wish for a different time. He could wish for different circumstances. He can be happy. They get out their satellite radios and call in. Sit tight and wait until Utu can show up with some authorities to take charge of Humbaba. By then, Enkidu's fairly settled on the word boyfriend in Gilgamesh's mouth. Can kiss that mouth happily.

Course back in Uruk, the whole thing is a bit of a media circus. Humbaba was up to some bad shit and there are a lot of Feds who show up, and bring Gilgamesh and Enkidu in for an escalating series of questions. 

But this one Fed, Enlil, seems particularly sharp on why they were out there and if they grabbed any of the goods, and why they took this sort of thing on themselves instead of leaving well enough alone. 

Gilgamesh gets the impression that Humbaba was Enlil's informant or something. A little fish that Enlil wanted to lead to a whale, but with Utu throwing several books of charges at Humbaba, Giglamesh doesn't care.

So, life is good and Gilgamesh is happy. He's smiling when he goes to work. He's less of an asshole and ignores the pretty young clerks in their shops. So less of a dick too. Not even remotely a douche nozzle. 

Enkidu stops dreaming about the Anzu blowing up. About his life blowing up. He calls Gilgamesh his boyfriend. 

It's all pretty good.


	6. Table 6

Also on the subject of cedar trees, Aruru is more than a little concerned about the cedar trees behind the Sakanaka. Their roots have done a job and a half on the wall between the Sakanaka and the apartments of the Chaldee. The building manager of the Sakanka decided to deal with the issue by not watering the trees. 

This does the opposite of help.

That does not fix a wall. So she tells Gilgamesh all about it. He knows the super over at the apartments won't do squat.

Gilgamesh comes up with a plan.

Enkidu says, "This is going to be a theme with you isn't it?"

"Yup, it's why you love me." Gilgamesh sort of freezes when the last bit comes out. He hadn't meant to say it like that. He darts a look at Enkidu, who is likewise frozen. Then decides he needs to not be half assed. He needs to be the full ass and says, "And I love you."

So they're distracted from the plan a bit.

First part of the plan, Gilgamesh gets some guys and Enkidu gets some old fosters who need work, and they take down the wall before it falls on someone. There's pine sap and rubble everywhere. Then there's some unsanctioned tree cutting. 

Unsanctioned because this sort of thing requires a permit and a few thousand dollars to the city. But they take down the trees and Enkidu's old friends dispose of the wood. Money from the sale of the cedar going to the local foster program. They grind down the stumps. 

Gilgamesh makes bad jokes about grinding. Enkidu pretends not to hear him. They plant some flowering dogwood. Not cedars. Not redwoods. Not anything that is going to tower and rip up what they build. Something to give some shade and will smell good when a body sits under it. They put up a pretty wrought iron fence with a gate so the folks at the apartments of the Chaldee can pop over to the Sakanaka if they want. 

Near the end of the whole deal, Enkidu's feeling tired, but he figures that it's just all the work they've been doing.

It's not.

But we'll get to that in a bit.


	7. Table 7

Ishtar goes to a Sunday family dinner. This isn't all that uncommon. Happens each Sunday in fact, because Ishtar's mother has opinions. Ishtar's mother has standards.

This Sunday, Ereshkigal flips back her iron flattened hair with a casual hand that she's been keeping in her pocket, but extends it now to show off the large ring and associated rock. "Gug and I are getting married."

Course, Gugalanna sits there on the couch like the old bull that he is, and says, "Figured it was time." Gugalanna makes no secret that he had his eyes on Ereshkigal's funeral parlor money and has ambitions for both of them.

Course, that means everyone fusses over Ereshkigal and asks her how Gugalanna had proposed. 

"Imagine anyone being excited to marry old Bull Gug," Ishtar whispered to Utu. Points a finger in the direction of her mouth and mimes vomiting.

Ningal, Ishtar's mother, sees the action and says, "Now, Ishtar, don't you be like that about your sister's beau, just because you can't hold onto a man," which at Ishtar's glare, and Ereshkigal's smirk and waggle of her engagement ring, Ningal adds on, "Her fiancee is a fine man," and then further adds as she often does, "and neither one of you are getting younger and closer to giving me grandchildren."

Now to cut these family relations short, Ishtar blurts out that she had her eye on a new property to expand her grocery store into a chain. Which leads to Ereshkigal sniding that Ishtar must want money again. "It's coming out of your share of the inheritance, let me tell you. I'm keeping track and don't you think I'm not." 

It doesn't precisely save the conversation when old Suen asks when the wedding would be and grumping that he wouldn't be paying for this one, given how the last one had turned out, which is the last thing Ereshkigal wants to hear about. She texts DrDisease from her book club, who tells her to grow a spine and tell her father to stop bothering her about decisions she made as a pubescent before her frontal cortex finished development. 

She doesn't. She never will, but she likes the way DrDisease drops complicated words like they are free.

However, Ereshkigal does try to make clear that in marrying Gug that her father should stop going on about Kur of the dragon tattoo. She's done well by the family business. Five locations and growing. Death is always a thriving business.

But the whole dinner gets Ishtar to thinking that maybe it was time to put aside pretty boys. Calves just off their mama's tit. She wants a man. She's thirsty at the thought. She thinks about going to her family with a pretty ring on her finger. A real man at her side. Someone popular. Someone who goes to City Council meetings with opinions. Someone everyone sees as a golden boy. Someone with property of his own. Someone who could be mayor himself someday and wouldn't that put an oar in Ereshkigal's wheel. Someone who Utu's been talking about, because he's going to milk the Humbaba case for all its worth. 

She's looking out her store window when she sees Gilgamesh walking and thinks, "Now there's a tasty hunk of man." She wonders to herself why she and Gilgamesh have never gotten it on. Hot backed as both of them are. She thinks to herself that here's the man of property that she's wanting. 

So she goes on the prowl. Every day, she puts on her best war paint and her armor. The ones with the support where it's wanted and no fabric where it isn't. The ones that lift and tuck, and look good when her dress comes off. 

First, she wears red. She puts on her favorite jewelry that shows she is a queen. She puts on the matching fuck me pumps. She struts over to the Anzu and sits down at the counter while crossing her legs to emphasize her ass on the stool.

She says, "I've been thinking, Gilgamesh; how long have we known each other?"

Gilgamesh doesn't know. "A long time."

"How is it then that we," she leans forward, "haven't hooked up." She looks around the coffee shop. Her lips are very red and very full, and her cleavage is very low. 

Gilgamesh isn't paying attention. He's thinking about what new blend he wants to make. He's thinking about hills of beans. He's thinking about how much he loves Enkidu. So much his heart could explode.

Ishtar sees he's got his mind on business, not that she minds that. She likes a challenge.

She comes back another day in leopard print. She says, "You know I'm thinking of expanding my grocery store into more locations." 

He doesn't know, but now he does. It's not much of anything to him. He tells her to go to the 1st Street bank if she wants a loan. They helped him when he wanted to remodel the Anzu.

He works the espresso machine. He hums. He's thinking about how Enkidu looked that morning before he left for work. He wonders what Enkidu thinks of the touch of cinnamon he put in the coffee he'd left for him. He wonders if Enkidu's still feeling worn out from the whole fence thing. If he's worried about Humbaba's trial.

She says, "I could help you expand your business too. Established name brands like this. I've got my eye on a new location. There's room inside for a little coffee shop. Like some of the other store chains do. We could," she leans forward, giving him a view of hill, dale, and valley, "marry our brands." 

He steams some milk. "More to manage, less time for the things I enjoy doing." He'd tell her about the camping trip he's got planned with Enkidu, but the bell jingle jangles as Mrs. Aruru comes in and he calls out, "Your usual, Mrs. Aruru?"

Aruru nods, "You know it, sweet cheeks." She eyes Miss Ishtar and adds, "What are you doing in here? Shouldn't you be out," Aruru tries to think of a polite way of saying hunting boys full of juice and no idea how to use it, but there really is no way to say that politely, "in your store."

"On a break enjoying the handsome company here," says Ishtar with a flick of her hair. She gives Gilgamesh's ass a long ass look as he goes by to bring Aruru her coffee and pastry.

"Right," says Aruru through pursed lips. She turns to Gilgamesh and says, "I've been thinking you should invite that handsome boyfriend of yours over to my house for dinner some night this week." She gives Ishtar a long look. "Why I've never seen anyone so happy and in love as you two."

Ishtar sniffs and heads back to her grocery store. She decides to be more explicit. She's not worried about some boytoy that Gilgamesh may be seeing. They never last long.

The next day, she pulls out the big guns. The bra that is a testament to modern technology and structural support. The lace dress. The gold one that brings out the golden brown of her skin. The one that leaves little if anything to the imagination. She pulls her hair up in a style that is anything but casual. She puts on her warpaint. She goes to the Anzu after Aruru will have come and gone. She says, "Gilgamesh, it's been awhile since I've seen you at the Ziggurat."

Gilgamesh shrugs. 

Ishtar says, "Gilgamesh, come dancing with me. Move your body next to mine. Let's make love on the dance floor then come back with me to my bed and we'll make the two backed beast." Then just in case she'd been too subtle, she says, "Let's have sex. Let's get married. Lets merge our bodies and companies, and crush anyone who gets in our way."

"Uh," says Gilgamesh. "Err," says Gilgamesh. "I'm dating Enkidu. Who is living with me. And is my boyfriend. Who I love."

Ishtar sniffs. Then unfortunately she says some unfortunate things about gutter trash.

Then unfortunately, Gilgamesh says some very impolite things about Ishtar's past love life, when really he should have just repeated that he loved Enkidu. Ishtar is stubborn and quick to anger, but she does have a soft spot for love.

Not that there's any sign of softness just then.

Ishtar slinks off to lick her wounds. To tend her rage carefully like a cook tends a stew. Feeds it new food. Just as quick as that, she goes from wanting to fuck and marry Gilgamesh to wanting to cliff him. She keeps hearing that himbo calling her a slut. As if he has any room to talk. 

She goes to her daddy complaining about the cedar trees. She tells him, "Bull Gug should fine Gilgamesh for cutting down trees without a permit."

Suen is always inclined to indulge his little girl. Also, he knows what people say about Gilgamesh and how he should run for mayor. He also knows fining a man for fixing a broken wall that could have fallen on a bunch of voters was not the best look. So he regretfully tells his little girl that he couldn't do anything. Not without proof. 

She pesters him for a good bit about sending Bull Gug to investigate, but investigating isn't really Bull Gug's strong suit. Covering up investigations is more his wheelhouse, as old Suen takes care to know nothing about.

Ishtar changes tactics. She starts going on about the old magnolia tree that's ripping up the parking lot at the Sakanaka, "And I swear that thing is rotten the way it sheds leaves." 

Now in all fairness, Magnolia trees shedding leaves is nothing new, and Suen does want to do something about Gilgamesh's shiny star. So out go the city crews to check out the tree, and after a word from Suen to the crew super, they find that the tree is rotten. 

Gilgamesh complains to the City Council. He tells them they could cut the tree down over his dead body. Enkidu stands up with Gilgamesh to let folks know he would stand by his man. 

Bull Gug, who'd never liked Gilgamesh truth be told, comes with the cutting crew. It is a terrible to do. Chain saws. Shouting men. Cutting branches. 

But in the midst of all the chaos, a branch from that tree falls on Bull Gug and it falls on Enkidu.

No one died, but Enkidu breaks his arm and Bull Gug breaks his right leg. Everyone goes to the only hospital in town. 

That could have been the end of it, but Ishtar is still full of rage. 

She is stewing over her anger. She gets to talking with Bull Gug and he is pretty well stewed by this point as well. 

Between them they cook up an idea. Ishtar seduces Tammuz, a young man dancing at the Ziggurat. She puts the idea in his head that it would be a fun prank to steal some corpses from one of the Irkalla funeral homes and leave them sitting as if at a meal at the Anzu. Put a few satanic type symbols around. Imply something nasty.

Ishtar knew this was all kinds of health violations, although she had to explain that a time or two to Bull Gug. She especially had to explain Bull Gug his part of the plan, which was to turn off the security cameras on some key traffic lights. Get Tammuz access to a city vehicle. Do what he does best and cover up activities. 

She plans it so they both have an alibi. She got a little too cute about the whole thing. Because she called in a tip to that Fed, Enlil, who she'd heard had a hard on to take Gilgamesh down a peg or two over what went down with Humbaba.

Too cute because Tammuz isn't the sharpest stick. He is about to set up the corpses, and stops to smoke a few joints out back, and loses track of time. So he is still there when Gilgamesh and Enkidu showed up to open up the Anzu in the early morning. 

He is still there when Enlil shows up to question Gilgamesh and Enkidu, and gets pulled into a petty set of events. Because Enlil does not like Gilgamesh, but when he sees that Tammuz has driven a sheriff's van full of bodies to a cafe, he gets to wondering. When it turns out that there had been tampering with the traffic cameras, and that hadn't been the first kind of fishy thing in Bull Gug's office, he gets very curious. It was the tip of the proverbial tower of rotten fish. Well, Enlil is an honest cop, who did not like dishonest ones.

So there is Ishtar at her sister's wedding wearing a red dress with a wide gold belt, a wide black hat, and warpaint, when the Feds show up to arrest Bull Gug. He starts bellowing it is Ishtar's fault. The wedding is off the rails. There is screaming. Ereshkigal punches Ishtar, and is punched back. Hair weaves are pulled out. Old Suen gets hit in the head with a shoe. Utu stays out of it.

Also Ishtar is in a bit of a jam. What with the plotting to desecrate dead bodies and putting a shadow over the family mortuary business. 

This is how Ishtar spends 6 months in an orange jumpsuit on the side of a highway picking up trash with Tammuz, and Ereshkigal cancels her wedding. 

DrDisease tells her that she's better off and, as they set to discussing this month's book, she agrees. Except for the black eye.

Course the town is in an uproar. Ishtar vows no free condoms, medicinal replacement viagra for the duration of her punishment, or special teas.

Perhaps it all equals out.


	8. Table 8

Enkidu goes back to the doctor for his check up. To see how his arm is healing. To find out why he feels so tired all the time. Worn out. Why he's losing weight. Why he's got these sore tender spots in his legs.

Gilgamesh has been pushing him to go in. Bugging him.

Doctor does tests, but they can't find the cause. Enkidu can feel the life draining out of him. He tries to break it off with Gilgamesh, out of some stupid idea or something.

But Gilgamesh says, "Marry me." 

"But," Enidku can't finish that statement. He's still is thinking about how nothing lasts.

"Marry me. Sickness and health. I want to be there. We'll figure this out."

So they get married by a justice of the peace, and hold a small reception at the Anzu. 

Gilgamesh goes with Enkidu to more tests. Gilgamesh holds Enkidu as his beautiful hair falls out. He holds him while his lunch wouldn't stay down. He does his best. But Enikdu fades further and further away until he's hooked up to a breathing machine at the hospital. Barely awake. 

Aruru tells him to stay with his love, but Gilgamesh won't find an answer in Uruk. 

So he leaves. He goes to meet with doctors. He contacts healers. Homeopathic aromatics. Crystal therapy. He isn't about to let death win. But no matter what they try, he may as well have been trying to make rocks fly. 

Now Ereshkigal has heard about Enkidu's situation through the grapevine. Hard to miss how worried Gilgamesh looks when they crossed paths. Then there is Ishtar, who has finished her trash patrol, married Tammuz, and been given a loan by old Suen to open that new grocery location as a wedding present. She's forgotten all about Gilgamesh now that she has what she wants. She's certain she can mould her young husband into something. 

Now Ereshkigal, what she keeps thinking about is death. Ereshkigal knows death. She knows it well. She knows the doctors who treat against disease. The ones who keep clients from coming her way and the ones who don't. She also knows that Ishtar would never apologize for the trouble she'd caused. So she packs an overnight bag and goes to see a specific doctor. She's been given to understand that Doctor Nergal is a miracle worker. That no one knows pestilence quite like he does. He refuses to see her. She knows he's already refused Gigamesh's request for help.

Ereshkigal is not the type of woman to be refused. She gets in to see him. He has no bedside manner. But she can't help but notice that he's got every book that she's been discussing with her book club. Every single one.

She gets in his grill and tells him she can take him to an illness that no one could cure. Ereshkigal understands pride. She also finally knows what she wants now that's seen the tall drink of him. She calls him DrDisease, and tells him that she's LadyDeath.

He agrees to take the case.

Course his colleagues warn Nergal that if he goes to a small city, he'll be seduced by small city charms. He ignores them. He's got his eyes on that LadyDeath he's been chatting with and he more than half wants to be seduced. 

That's how Dr. Nergal ends up sweeping on in. Going to visit Enkidu in his hospital bed. Telling Gilgamesh to fire his doctor for not recognizing that Enkidu was exposed to a particular bacteria during his eco-warrior days. The treatment isn't pretty. It isn't free. It's horrible. Like being dragged backwards through mud and stuck with a hundred chicken feathers. This may sound specific and odd, but there it is.

Dr. Nergal is an asshole of tremendous proportions. He and Ereshkigal spat every day in the Anzu, where Nergal gets free coffee for life as far as Gilgamesh is concerned. It goes without saying that Nergal stays to open a clinic that will never give Ereshkigal clients, and moves in with Ereshkigal, which thrills Ishtar, who has decided to get a quickie divorce from her idiot boy toy husband and wants her mother fussing over Ereshkigal and not her. But that's all side drama. 

Enkidu lives. Gilgamesh has a few more grey hairs as a result of everything. But he and Enkidu go for dinner at Aruru's house.

She puts out the best plates. She puts on a tofu roast, because Enkidu is going vegetarian again. She puts out the good glasses. She raises hers in toast. "To my sweet cheeked boy and his lovely love." 

There's no way Gilgamesh won't toast to that. No way he won't toast and go sit in the garden for a little while while the sun sets over the blue green mountains. While the long river rolls water down to the sea. While the faint stars come out. While he and Enkidu go home to the bed and the life that they share. 

**Author's Note:**

> Babylonian Gilgamesh  
> http://factsanddetails.com/world/cat56/sub363/entry-6402.html  
> Sumerian Gilgamesh  
> http://reader.epubee.com/books/mobile/e4/e497c4e42d4fa3012bd340ad6d698a84/text00017.html  
> Akkadian Gilgamesh  
> http://www.ancienttexts.org/library/mesopotamian/gilgamesh  
> Lugalbanda in the mountain cave/goes to war (Gilgamesh's dad) & the adventure of the Anzu bird.  
> http://www.mesopotamiangods.com/lugalbanda-in-the-mountain-cave/  
> http://www.mesopotamiangods.com/lugalbanda-and-the-anzu-bird/


End file.
